Saturday, December 12, 2015


Over the course of the last week I have been indulging myself into a show on Netflix that I had no idea was based in Portland until I watched it. Called, 'Life Unexpected' this show has shed light on so many things in my life that I never thought anyone or anything could ever shine light on.

It's recently come to my attention that I am incapable of having friends, and more than one person close to me at a time. As much as I try to have multiple friendships, or just relationships in general it never works. EVER. Trust me, I've literally denied this my whole life insisting that I was able to have multiple friends. In the end I always end up with just one, sometimes none at all.

As for the reason I am this way, I have no idea. It's like I have ADHD when it comes to my friend circles. My mind becomes a vortex of chaos and it spirals out of control before I have time to figure out what is happening.

By the time my life is spinning out of control, once again I hit rock bottom. I should almost just build real estate down there because it seems to always be my place of existence. When everything and anything can and will go wrong, it does. Life always has a way of kicking me when I'm down.

Throughout my life of 20 and a half years, I've been through a lot. Yes, people my age have been through a lot more, or a lot less. Same hell, different devils. I've had people leave me, hurt me, lie to me, abuse me, wreck me, tear me apart limb by limb. Therefore I am a very guarded person. I don't talk to the people who love me, because how can I trust them when so many people have stabbed me in the back with a double edged sword?

Now some will say that you can't put your past on others, because not everyone is the same. That I can understand, but at the same time I have such a hard time opening up to people because once I do they leave. People see me as the class clown, I will always try to make your day better, I'm always looking for a joke or a way to make someone laugh. I will ask you a million times a day if you're okay because maybe to me, you seem a little off. Not your normal self.

People ask me if I'm okay, I always say I'm alright. That is my go to response, a conditioned response to everyone. One of my previous supervisor's took that as a negative thing, and complained about it on my yearly review. It's not a negative thing. I'm alright means that I'm not the best I could be but I'm not the worst I've been, I'm just ALRIGHT.

Sometimes I try to justify people hurting me, because I don't want to believe they did it on purpose. I don't want to believe that after everything they could just throw me down and kick me after everything we'd been through. After awhile you get used to making excuses for people and getting hurt is an everyday thing, and you don't know nice if it was sitting next to you. You think abuse is normal. Mental, physical, emotional; you start to think they are all normal because you don't know any better.

I used to blame my parents for making me so screwed up, mainly my dad. But it wasn't just him. Part of it probably because I put so much of my time and effort into pleasing him and all I would get is criticism, and things I should have done rather than a good job or way to go from what I did do. Nowadays I no longer strive to make him proud, or anyone really because I will never be good enough for them. I will never be who they want me to be.

Honestly, I cried at my High School graduation because I never thought I would make it to see that day. I cried when I got accepted into Southern Oregon University, and George Fox a year and a half later. Those were big accomplishments for me because I never thought I could. I'm not the girl that gets things like that.

Some things in life really just flood my mind and make it hurt so much it's almost unbearable. One day I was handed a handwritten letter. Much to my surprise it wasn't much of a letter, but a list. Front and back about 3 pages (college ruled). This was a compiled list from my (ex)boyfriend's best friend. About everything he had said he didn't like about me to her and then an explanation as to why in her own words.

This was by far the worst thing someone could have done to me emotionally. I took this letter, and he told me not to read it, but I did anyways. Would you? I wanted to know what someone I thought was my friend had to say about MY relationship. An outsider, who had only a sliver of what was really going on. And he might see this, he might not. I don't know who all reads this blog and who doesn't.

I didn't understand then, and I don't now. How someone could intentionally drown someone in their own personality and make them feel like shit about who they are. How she could sit there with a smile on her face knowing that this letter was going to tear me apart, and put cracks in my relationship. That messed me up as a person.

I'm so broken on the inside, and nobody knows that. Nobody knows that I am such a messed up person and nobody can understand me because half the time I can't even understand myself. Half the time I can't even explain to you how I feel what I feel, or why, or what caused it. I can be happy one minute, and completely depressed the next and have no idea why.

I'm not perfect, I'm hard to love, and I sure as hell don't make it easy; I also don't try to make it hard either. So I confess, I'm broken and emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted from the abuse of my life.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Belated Halloween Thoughts

Here I was, scrolling through Facebook counting down to Halloween. What I saw was no less than ordinary, but it got me thinking. Every Halloween without fail, someone posts or shares a photo that has to do with not dressing up as a specific thing because it is hurtful so their culture or a culture they have grown encompassed to. Now, I'm not saying this is right or wrong.

However, has it ever occurred to anyone, that no matter what costume you want to wear it's almost always going to involve someone's life. That it might be hurtful? For example: dressing as a construction worker. Cute right? Yes. Not recognizing the fact that this is someones life, their career. So why is it that dressing as an Indian is recognized as shameful but nothing else really is? Inanimate objects, not so much of a concern (Soap and Loofah, Ketchup and Mustard, Netflix and Chill, etc.).

Seriously think about this. If we are not recognizing that everyone is human, this world is going to fall apart. Hell, it already is. This is my point, dressing up has been an age-old tradition that has been carried through the years. Although the things people may say about a certain costume can be hurtful, we are all human. We should be able to dress as whatever we want. An Indian, Bohemian dancer, construction worker, policeman/policewoman, fireman, etc.

No judgement should be placed on anyone for being who they want to be on the one night they can choose to be anything they can imagine.

Here's to the free spirits, and the ones who still respect what they may be representing on Halloween night with whatever costume they are wearing.

Friday, October 16, 2015

A letter to my best friend

Thank you.

Thank you for being you, for loving me the way I am, for everything you do for me. In my obsessively crazy world, I know you'll always be there. We've gone through some rocky points in our lives without each other, and it seems to go a little smoother when I know you're there to catch me.

For staying up at night to talk to me, even though you're exhausted from your long day. For being the shoulder I can cry on, and you'll hold me so I feel safe again. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life, and a part of your family. I know how much family means to you, and I am so grateful that I can be a part of that.

Thank you for being a part of my family, for coming to me when you need someone there for you, even at 3am, because you know I will always be there for you. Thank you for encouraging me and helping me to keep on the right track. Thank you for being my common sense when it seems all of mine is on a runaway train.

I love you so much. I honestly don't know how I would have survived some of the things I have if I didn't have you there beside me. Even though we don't see each other as much as we did, I still value every minute I get with you. I love the endless laughs, texts, Snapchats, Instagram posts, Facebook posts, baking moments, movie marathons, cuddle sessions, photo ops, endless drives, endless love. Unconditional love.

You are my soulmate. You are the one person I know will always be there through the dark times and the amazing moments I have, as well as I will be there for you.

As your best friend I vow to:
-Love you always and unconditionally
-Be there for you whenever, wherever, always
-Always communicate with you
-Talk common sense into you when you need it; tough love but still unconditional
-Bake with you at any moment you decide necessary
-Watch movies as many times as you deem necessary
-Mutually agree on household items and where we will live in two years
-Be the shoulder you can cry on
-Be the punching bag
-Tell you the truth about everything (except surprises, but you always figure those out anyways!!)
-Be your lesbian lover at any sign of distress
-Be the best cuddle buddy you'll ever have
-Love your cat
-Appreciate your love for Owl's
-Always be there

These are just the things off the top of my head, I'm sure I could go on and on and on but you get the point. I promise to not walk out of your life. I will not walk out, I will let you drag me through hell with you as long as you hold my hand.

Forever and with all of my heart, I love you.

  Your Best Friend

Tuesday, October 13, 2015


You. You're not who I thought you were. You've changed so much since I've known you. It makes me wonder if I ever really knew you at all. Was the whole thing a lie? Were you waiting for me to get fed up and leave?

It doesn't even hurt anymore like it did a year or two ago. Honestly, now I am just numb to everything and everyone. It's like you posting things about your new person doesn't even phase me or come as a shock anymore.

You knew me so well, you knew my deepest secrets, my deepest loves. You saw me raw, almost naked in a metaphorical sense. That's something most people never have the chance to do. I was by your side and you were by mine, through thick and thin.

Through heartbreak, new loves, accomplishments, everything. You. It was you who was there, nobody else. You were there when I needed someone the most. In those moments that I was most vulnerable. Yet you look at me now like that was nothing.

Now. Now you sit there and act like I don't exist anymore, that nothing ever happened. He changed you, in the worst way. Only some good things came out of that, and losing you was not one of them. But I wasn't going to sit there and give 100% of my effort with nothing in return.

It was a two way street with us, but you repaved the street, and had a traffic control change. You smoothed over the memories we had, everything we shared together, gone. As if it never happened in the first place. Nothing to show for the 6 years of memories.

I knew I would lose you that March, I had a gut feeling. Even though you told me you wouldn't leave, you did. Not right away, but no doubt you did. It was never the same after that, we tried to pretend it was but we both knew it wasn't.

That's what breaks my heart the most. Knowing you don't care, knowing that you threw me out like yesterdays trash.

"That don't sound like you." -Lee Brice

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Fire - Fuego - Feuer - Fuoco

Fire, one of the earth's elements that is so vastly used. We can use it for survival, torture, warmth, to heat our water, to cook our food, so many other things too. Fire can tear someone apart, rip everything they know from them in the blink of an eye. Fire is fragile, but it is not discriminatory. (Contrary to what Johnathan Addison says).

However, fire is also like a vampire. In the fact that you cannot see it's reflection. If you don't believe me, try it.

Make this a point in your life. We conceal who we truly are in our shadows that nobody can see. They hide away and don't come out, until certain circumstances draw them out of you. If someone were to judge you based off of what type of flame they see, because they can't see the reflection, it's basically saying that someone is judging you based off what they currently see, they are not seeing what mountains you had to climb to get there. How much heartbreak you had to endure to get where you currently are, to get that flame to stand out against the others.

The thing you should remember most in your life, is you were made to stand out, not blend in. Stand for what you believe in, even if you're standing alone, because that is when you stay true to you. When you stand for what you believe in, you're protecting your values, you are using your voice and freedom of speech.

I have a suspicion that people don't tend to stand up and use their voice because they are afraid of being frowned upon, or hurtful things being said to them. But, if you ask me, that's half the battle. If you think about it, standing up even knowing in the back of your mind there might be backlash from some people, now that is true courage. Also, you saying something instead of holding it in may give another person with not as much strength to be first a chance to stand along side you. That is powerful.

Again, a you cannot see the shadow of a flame, so don't be discouraged that people can't see what you've been through to get where you are. Stand strong, be who you are and say what you feel. You never know when your last opportunity will be, or if you will be able to save someone, somewhere from something they couldn't save themselves from.

Fire - Fuego - Feuer - Fuoco

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

A Tiny Thought

I've been thinking a lot about life lately. Some good, some bad. It just seems like there is so much being thrown onto my plate, and I don't want to take more than I can chew. 

With that in mind, I know I'm strong, and I know I can handle a lot more than I think I can. Pushing myself makes me better, and more productive. Although it can stress me out, I know in the end I will make myself proud and continue to push myself towards my goals. 

It has been a rough past few months; roller coaster of ups and downs. Through it all, my best friend has been there. That's something I could have only wished for a year ago. It's funny, ordinarily people describe soul mates as: lovers, life partners, people who are destined to get married, ect. That's not it at all. A soul mate could be within your family, within your group of friends, possibly even a stranger. Yes, a soul mate could be all of the romantic things previously stated, but to me that's not all it is. 

My best friend is my soul mate, and this is why:
-same music taste (this is a very important thing to have in is life)
-we love food
-cuddling is second nature
-we understand even if there are no words
-we LOVE food
-also movies and movie marathons
-we wear the same size clothes (not a necessity but helpful when needing something 'new to you' to wear when you get bored of your wardrobe)
-night out? Nope. Night in, with drinks, food, movies, and some more food. 
-we are always proud of the other and support them in anything they do, regardless on if we agree with it. Because we know they love it/want it. 
-endless random funny yet sometimes serious texting conversations and snapchats throughout the day to make your shitty day better; and just in general. 
-we are always beautiful enough; sweatpants and all. 

These are just a few things on the long list of things that we have in common, but we also have our differences. That's what makes us mesh so well. We compliment eachother like steak and potatoes. 

If you take away anything at all from this, make sure the thing that sticks is not to take people for granted. To love unconditionally and without expectation. Yeah, sometimes you might get burnt; but there are those few people who won't fuck you over. Hold onto them, they are a pearl in an ocean of sharks. Fighting over stupid shit? Forget about it, life is too short and it's petty drama. 

Most of all, love yourself enough to know your worth and beauty. Inspire others with your drive and your passion. Have integrity, and believe in yourself. In the end, the only battle you have is with yourself. 

Saturday, August 15, 2015

An Open Letter to the Lonely Girl

So you feel alone, like you're drowning beneath the waves and no one to pull you back to shore. Almost as if you had a million reasons to go and not many to stay. There is just something about the darkness of the night that haunts you, yet you love to sit and think about life while counting your wishes in the stars. It seems that everyone around you is happy and content with life and you envy how they can go day to day and live their life so gracefully and with such adventure.

I've been there, I know that it takes everything in your power to get out of bed in the morning, to get dressed and put that same forced smile on your face. Day after day it's the same routine and it starts to blur together. The things that once made you so happy just don't have the same effect anymore, yet you act like it does so the people around you don't know how alone you really feel. Why should they get the privilege of knowing how you really feel when most of the time they are just going to use it against you? It makes no sense, right?

You might crave physical touch every now and then, in an emotional way. Yet there is nobody there for you when you need it the most. You're waiting for him to figure it out so he can comfort you in the way he used to with all those late night drives and conversations. Nothing else is comparable to the way he made you feel, the way he held you when you were sad or scared, and they way he made you so happy that you always had a smile on your face, even if you were mad at him. The way he would look at you when he thought you weren't looking as you're dancing and singing your heart out.

You were in love with him, not for the way he sweet talked you, but because he was himself. Just him.

Now that he isn't there like he used to be, you feel insecure and maybe a little helpless. It doesn't help that everyone around you seems to have someone but you, and all you want to do is call him and hug him. He might even be your kryptonite. It's going to hurt, you're going to feel like your heart got ripped open, but that's because it matters.

It will always matter, there will never be a day that goes by that you don't miss him. Over all, you feel empty inside, and that nobody understands. Probably because you don't completely understand yourself. That's okay, you don't have to completely understand why you're lonely or feeling the way you are. This is the beauty of life, it's a puzzle that you put together as you go.

It might not even be all because of him, you might be sad about other events in your life, and this just seems to amplify it. It's going to sting for awhile, but you got to try and be happy. Take off the fake smile, and dress up for a day. Make sure you feel beautiful, if only for one day. It will help make you happier for the day and it helps with the loneliness. Now, it won't completely go away, it will always be there, but as long as you start to fall in love with yourself again, it will subside into the prick of a needle.

If you don't try, you will never succeed.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Always expect the unexpected.

Ever heard the saying, expect the unexpected? Well it seems that most of you believe that to be true, and I applaud you for that, because it is more that true. Ever feel like you've been hit by a freight train but with words? Yeah, that's a bitch.

There came a point in my life where I made myself a promise, and that was to not do something if it wasn't making me happy. Not fake happy, not I will put up with it happy, but really happy. However, there was always one thing that I stuck with no matter how it made me feel. I've done this before, and I know the outcome; it's never pretty and always pretty damn messy.

Even though I know what the outcome of letting someone else have the reins over my emotions is, I still do it and I'm sure there are some people out there that let people do this to them too. Even if they don't necessarily know it's happening, or they are playing the ignorance card.

Here is what I am trying to say with all of this, make sure that you know all possible outcomes, and that you are emotionally ready for every outcome that might happen. This helps you become better prepared for that freight train of words that is about to knock you off your feet. Now, don't get confused by this. I'm not saying it's not going to hurt, it is. What I'm saying is that it's better to know that something might happen and have control over the situation so you're not 100% caught off guard.

I've had some though moments in life, some I wish I could've avoided. In theory, that would be amazing; in reality, I've learned from every moment of my life and that is something I wouldn't want to give up. A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

Also, most people tend to put their emotions into their significant other or the person they have feelings for even if they might not be together. This shouldn't be something that takes up so much of your emotions, that you don't have any left for yourself. The emotions you have for yourself need to be greater than those you put into others. It is a very hard thing to do, especially if you're a person who makes it a point to please others like myself, but it has to be done.

If you don't put more emotion into yourself than others, you're going to be left more of a mess if something goes wrong. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but life happens. Don't shoot the messenger.

In all seriousness though, make sure you invest in yourself before you invest into someone else. Ultimately you are the one who will always be there for yourself, and you are the biggest importance of your life. Unless you have kids, then there might be an exception to that. In the same sense though make sure you take time for yourself. It doesn't always have to be all about the kids, soon they will grow up and then where will you be? An emotional train wreck because you hid yourself in them, and now they aren't there to hide you anymore. Be yourself, don't try and hide yourself in someone else, that isn't healthy or helpful.

"Of this be sure: you don't find the happy life, you make it." -Thomas Manson

Friday, June 19, 2015

Late Night Thoughts

Tonight, just like any other, started off with laughter and jokes. It's always a blessing to be around people who genuinely make you happy. There is no other feeling like it. At this point you are probably thinking that I'm just being clichè, but have you seriously sat down and thought about it?

Through the past few years I've learned a lot about myself and who I want to be. I've set my goals an aspirations higher than I would have a few years back. Let's be honest here, hindsight is 20/20; it always is though. You don't know what you have until it's gone; you don't know how far you've gone until you look back on where you used to be.

Tonight was different for me though; I learned things about myself that I guess I somewhat knew already but at the same time it wasn't completely clear to me. Drama is not my friend, it never has been and never will be. Here are my thoughts on why I say this: it's bullshit. I'm guilty of creating drama (I made drama tonight in fact) and I'm mad at myself for doing it.

There was no reason to create the drama that I did. It was completely not necessary and honestly not at all helpful. Drama never is. It's helpful when you know so much about a person to know how annoyed they get with drama. Yet I still created it. Why? Not a clue. I guess I just wanted to be heard.

It gets to a point where you have to take a step back and ask yourself if it's truly worth it. Most of the time, you should find it not to be. I'm appologetic for my actions tonight, and it shouldn't have gone that far.

Moral of the story is that drama is unnecessary and never helpful. Even if it is because you want to be heard. Now, I know that's not the only reason people create drama, but it's at least some of why. That, or they want attention.

I'm not sure if they will read this, but if they do this is what I have to say to them. I'm sorry for trying to make something small into a big deal, that text broke my heart a little and I just wanted to comfort you in the best way I knew how to. That's what I do. Especially when you have such a special place in my heart. I know you don't like drama and the fact that I created it with you makes me a little sick to my stomach to be honest. I know my boundaries, and I somewhat know where I stand with you. It's just hard for me to sit across from you and not be able to help you like I know how to. I probably could have gone about it a different way, but I clearly wasn't thinking through it well enough. I love you, and I miss you.

Lonely midnight thoughts.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Nature is Beauty

This is probably one of the best pictures I have ever taken. As most of you know, I am into photography and am almost always taking pictures (even if they are selfies). I'm so proud of the photos that I took this day, but this one is probably my favorite. 

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Fun in the Sun

Today was an adventure in a couple different ways. Since I've moved in and out of my moms house quite frequently since turning 18, and even a few times before that when I got into trouble, I've just stopped unpacking some boxes and just put them in our storage under the house. Well today was the day that I went through all of those boxes. Not only to get rid of things I clearly had no use for, but to reorganize all of them since they had been half full boxes, or just a mash-up of items.

This is how bad I've gotten over the past few years; I emptied probably 15 boxes, and reorganized them into 5. Master packer vs hoarder. Yes, I admit it, I hoard things that I think I might want down the road (even though 99% of the time I don't). It felt so good to get that all taken care of, especially when 2 boxes are Christmas, and another is all dishes. That means only two or three boxes have actual stuff in there.

Somewhat expecting that to take the greater portion of the day, I hadn't really planned anything else and that was to be my big project of the day. Well that really only took about an hour or two, and then I wasn't really sure what to do after that because I didn't want to sit and watch TV all day, especially because of how nice it was outside.

With that being said, I asked my friend Jess what she was up to since I haven't seen her in months. We ended up going to the park and walking around catching up, then going to get SONIC Happy Hour Slushies to cool off. I'm a sucker for Sonic Slushies.

Here is the issue we ran into while trying to plan this adventure, where do we go? We rattled off a few ideas, but we figured the places we listed were sure to be crowded, and who wants to go somewhere where it's crowded? Not me, I don't handle crowds very well, they stress me out and I get really frustrated.

That was the question; somewhere new, that had a body of water, and wasn't going to be too crowded. Wilsonville docks, Newberg docks, and finally Cook Park. Well we ended up going to cook park because well all else was not looking up. We wanted to go on an adventure, and find somewhere not so crowded. From my experience, all of these places are highly known so most often there are plenty of people there, and in big groups.

This was her first time at Cook Park, so I guess you could say it was a new adventure. We went walking on the trails that go through the whole park. Some of the paths dead-ended, and some just seemed not so plausible. We did make it down almost every trail in the park though, and the sign at the gate said the park was a half a mile, so that counted as my exercise for the day! ;)

That was my fun in the sun for the day, and it was pretty great!

Thursday, June 4, 2015

You're a Work in Progress

In my last post, I explored the fragile aspects of time, and how we should value it. Well, now I want to explore how we view ourselves. When I was attending George Fox, I took a communications class, with one of the best professors I've ever had in my college career. We were to make three speeches throughout the duration of the semester. Persuasive was the last speech that we were supposed to give. This one was probably one of my favorites.

It took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to tell me audience, or what I wanted to persuade them into thinking. Then it came to me. We are all going through the same hell, just different devils. Most often, we don't think of ourselves as highly as others might. At least that's how it is for me. Yes, some people may think less of me than I think of myself, but I tend not to stick around those people.

My speech was about believing in yourself, and I rocked it! I was so proud of myself over this speech. It took me awhile to come up with something because nothing seemed to satisfy my need to help someone. That's why I thought, why try to convince someone that Disney World is better than Disney Land, or how Oregon State is better than University of Oregon. All other options, including these, seemed inadequate.

Believing in yourself is hard for most people, and easier for others. It all depends on who you are and how you handle situations. There is a point in life where you need to be alone with yourself to think, and basically find who you are and what you want to do in life. There is never a better time than now to start really getting to know who you are and what you stand for, then nobody can break you down.

It is hard to block out negative things that people may say to you, and not every time can you block out everything. Try this: take it with a grain of sand. If you know who you are, what you stand for, and are firm in your beliefs, then you already have an advantage. You are who you are, the people putting you down don't know what you've been through, they haven't walked a mile in your shoes. Why let them control your feelings with their perception of your life when they don't know the whole story? Again, take it with a grain of sand, and know in your heart that they are just trying to get a reaction out of you.

As the title proposes, you are a work in progress. Don't let anyone push you to be something your not. Let people encourage you and stand by you through your journey, but never let someone drag you down. They don't deserve to have that satisfaction, and they don't deserve you. Time is short, you never know what is ahead, make sure it counts.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015


I know that most often we learn in life that time is fragile. Most of us don't fully understand what this means. Honestly I didn't either until I lost one of the most important things in my life, and another one a year and a half later. This concept was not something I understood until Cancer had a confrontation with my Dad, it was not something I understood until I had to put my best friend of 15 years down, it was not something I understood until I lost my grandpa.

After high school, I had my struggles; I let people closest to me down, I lost people I cared about because I was to ignorant and negative, and I lost myself. I was a disappointment to many, and that scared me. It's hard for me knowing I let someone down, that is where I start to panic. In my mind, letting someone else down (the people closest to me) is more important than letting myself down. My mother watched me go through reckless relationships, moving in and out of her house, fighting, yelling, crying. This is the end I thought, the end of everything I've known, I have hit rock bottom.

Although I'm not going to display all of my struggles and discontentment's, it was a hard time for me. Thorough this progression, I learned that TIME IS VALUABLE, YOU ARE VALUABLE. It's funny that all this time we have, we don't have it at the same time. The average American wakes up, goes to work and/or school, then if they have time some activities, then eat and sleep. We get up the next day and do it all over again, as if we were robots, programmed to be repetitive.

This post may seem like it's a bunch of jumbled thoughts, and that it probably really accurate.

There are times when I watch random things on Netflix or OnDemand, and they turn out to be amazing stories and they hit me so deeply. With that said, there was a book by Mitch Albom (favorite author by the way) it was called Time Keeper. In this book, was the story of Father Time; now this wasn't a long book, it was actually a very quick read. However, I was so impressed by this book because of the concept behind it. I encourage you to read it.

Anyways, Albom describes Father Times life, even before he was Father Time, and walks us through this amazing adventure of a man who asks the heavens why his Wife had died, and he didn't have time to save her. He then turns into Father Time. Now that's all I'm going to say about the story line for those of you who want to read it so there are no spoilers.

Again, TIME IS VALUABLE. There isn't a countdown clock on your nightstand, there is no knowing the future. There is now, there is only right now. Make the most out of every moment. You may know that someone doesn't have much time left here, but you never know the exact moment. There are things that I wish I could go back and change. Like getting to know my grandpa more than I do. He was my role model, he had so much strength and courage, and one of the last things he said to me will stay with me forever. But, with as much as I'd like to go back and get to know him more, I know that the future, as we are right now, would not be the same.

Right now, my life isn't bad, it could be better, but it could also be a lot worse and I am grateful that it isn't. Everyone fights, argues, and has there fall-outs, but just make sure that when you fight, don't take too long to make up. You can never get time back, but you can choose how to spend it.