Friday, October 16, 2015

A letter to my best friend

Thank you.

Thank you for being you, for loving me the way I am, for everything you do for me. In my obsessively crazy world, I know you'll always be there. We've gone through some rocky points in our lives without each other, and it seems to go a little smoother when I know you're there to catch me.

For staying up at night to talk to me, even though you're exhausted from your long day. For being the shoulder I can cry on, and you'll hold me so I feel safe again. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life, and a part of your family. I know how much family means to you, and I am so grateful that I can be a part of that.

Thank you for being a part of my family, for coming to me when you need someone there for you, even at 3am, because you know I will always be there for you. Thank you for encouraging me and helping me to keep on the right track. Thank you for being my common sense when it seems all of mine is on a runaway train.

I love you so much. I honestly don't know how I would have survived some of the things I have if I didn't have you there beside me. Even though we don't see each other as much as we did, I still value every minute I get with you. I love the endless laughs, texts, Snapchats, Instagram posts, Facebook posts, baking moments, movie marathons, cuddle sessions, photo ops, endless drives, endless love. Unconditional love.

You are my soulmate. You are the one person I know will always be there through the dark times and the amazing moments I have, as well as I will be there for you.

As your best friend I vow to:
-Love you always and unconditionally
-Be there for you whenever, wherever, always
-Always communicate with you
-Talk common sense into you when you need it; tough love but still unconditional
-Bake with you at any moment you decide necessary
-Watch movies as many times as you deem necessary
-Mutually agree on household items and where we will live in two years
-Be the shoulder you can cry on
-Be the punching bag
-Tell you the truth about everything (except surprises, but you always figure those out anyways!!)
-Be your lesbian lover at any sign of distress
-Be the best cuddle buddy you'll ever have
-Love your cat
-Appreciate your love for Owl's
-Always be there

These are just the things off the top of my head, I'm sure I could go on and on and on but you get the point. I promise to not walk out of your life. I will not walk out, I will let you drag me through hell with you as long as you hold my hand.

Forever and with all of my heart, I love you.

  Your Best Friend

Tuesday, October 13, 2015


You. You're not who I thought you were. You've changed so much since I've known you. It makes me wonder if I ever really knew you at all. Was the whole thing a lie? Were you waiting for me to get fed up and leave?

It doesn't even hurt anymore like it did a year or two ago. Honestly, now I am just numb to everything and everyone. It's like you posting things about your new person doesn't even phase me or come as a shock anymore.

You knew me so well, you knew my deepest secrets, my deepest loves. You saw me raw, almost naked in a metaphorical sense. That's something most people never have the chance to do. I was by your side and you were by mine, through thick and thin.

Through heartbreak, new loves, accomplishments, everything. You. It was you who was there, nobody else. You were there when I needed someone the most. In those moments that I was most vulnerable. Yet you look at me now like that was nothing.

Now. Now you sit there and act like I don't exist anymore, that nothing ever happened. He changed you, in the worst way. Only some good things came out of that, and losing you was not one of them. But I wasn't going to sit there and give 100% of my effort with nothing in return.

It was a two way street with us, but you repaved the street, and had a traffic control change. You smoothed over the memories we had, everything we shared together, gone. As if it never happened in the first place. Nothing to show for the 6 years of memories.

I knew I would lose you that March, I had a gut feeling. Even though you told me you wouldn't leave, you did. Not right away, but no doubt you did. It was never the same after that, we tried to pretend it was but we both knew it wasn't.

That's what breaks my heart the most. Knowing you don't care, knowing that you threw me out like yesterdays trash.

"That don't sound like you." -Lee Brice

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Fire - Fuego - Feuer - Fuoco

Fire, one of the earth's elements that is so vastly used. We can use it for survival, torture, warmth, to heat our water, to cook our food, so many other things too. Fire can tear someone apart, rip everything they know from them in the blink of an eye. Fire is fragile, but it is not discriminatory. (Contrary to what Johnathan Addison says).

However, fire is also like a vampire. In the fact that you cannot see it's reflection. If you don't believe me, try it.

Make this a point in your life. We conceal who we truly are in our shadows that nobody can see. They hide away and don't come out, until certain circumstances draw them out of you. If someone were to judge you based off of what type of flame they see, because they can't see the reflection, it's basically saying that someone is judging you based off what they currently see, they are not seeing what mountains you had to climb to get there. How much heartbreak you had to endure to get where you currently are, to get that flame to stand out against the others.

The thing you should remember most in your life, is you were made to stand out, not blend in. Stand for what you believe in, even if you're standing alone, because that is when you stay true to you. When you stand for what you believe in, you're protecting your values, you are using your voice and freedom of speech.

I have a suspicion that people don't tend to stand up and use their voice because they are afraid of being frowned upon, or hurtful things being said to them. But, if you ask me, that's half the battle. If you think about it, standing up even knowing in the back of your mind there might be backlash from some people, now that is true courage. Also, you saying something instead of holding it in may give another person with not as much strength to be first a chance to stand along side you. That is powerful.

Again, a you cannot see the shadow of a flame, so don't be discouraged that people can't see what you've been through to get where you are. Stand strong, be who you are and say what you feel. You never know when your last opportunity will be, or if you will be able to save someone, somewhere from something they couldn't save themselves from.

Fire - Fuego - Feuer - Fuoco