Thursday, August 4, 2016

My New Love

This is something that needs to be said, and I want everyone to hear it. Yes, it was kinda a sudden thing, and yes, it was completely out of left field for me. However, why does it matter? If I love someone, I am going to love them regardless of their gender.

There is really no difference, actually my relationship with her has been the best one I've ever had. We respect each other, we understand each other, and we love each other. My past relationships have been abusive, they have been full of lies, and they have been a nightmare.

No, I didn't ever think I would be with a woman. My parents and I always joked about it after I guy I was interested didn't work out, but I feel as though it was an empty joke with no real intentions of that happening. But it did, and I am the happiest I've ever been.

Sure, it's not conventional. We will run into problems later on down the road when we decide we want to build a life and start having kids. However, these are only deemed PROBLEMS to some, to us it's just how it is, it's something different and it will all work out. Her and I will build a life together, we will be happy, we will be the best versions of ourselves.

Yeah, I always dreamed of the fairytale wedding and the suit and tie to come home to, but that's what she is to me. She is my suit and tie, my fairytale, my forever. Nothing else matters when I am with her, and all my problems are muted in the background almost like they aren't there anymore.

Some of you may or may not agree with my sudden decision to rush into a relationship with a woman, but let me tell you this: I have been single for almost 2 years now, and I have had multiple people I have been interested in. When I met her, she made me feel like I was worth more than all of these guys had ever made me feel over the course of months. For those of you who really know me, it's hard for me to believe that I am worth a lot. It's hard for me to know what I deserve, and how I deserve to be treated. Leanna treats me like I am a princess, when she looks at me I can see it. I know she loves me and would never hurt me intentionally, and that's something that is big with me.

I've learned to love my body and love myself in the past month and a half than I have in many years. Yes, you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. Quite honestly I think that's bullshit. She makes me love myself, she shows me that it's okay to look the way I do, and she makes me feel beautiful. I can now look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I look Beautiful. She makes me feel invincible, and I know that no matter what anyone else thinks of me, she loves me, and I love me. For the first time I can say that I LOVE ME. I LOVE MYSELF. This is a huge.

So I have a new love, and her name is Leanna. She is everything to me, she is my forever.

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